Taking Candy from the Baby

Halloween and its association with sweets in excess is tough for a mom like me. As someone who has struggled with an eating disorder and makes an effort every single day to teach my kids to be at peace with their bodies and to practice what’s known as mindful eating – eat when they’re hungry, don’t eat when they’re not, I find the readily available heap of goodies puts me in a bit of a quandary. I want my kids to enjoy their treats without feeling guilty, but I don’t want them to fill up on so much junk that they stop eating healthier foods until they have eaten their way through their sweet stash.

Now Madeline is only 3 (almost 4!), and she wasn’t out trick-or-treating all that long. Still, she made quite a haul of sweet stuff for such a tiny stomach, and the girl loves candy. What kid doesn’t? (Don’t tell me the apple of your eye prefers carrot sticks over Pixy Sticks). I’ve tried hard to not be a no-junk-food-ever-fascist and to let her know that all those delish treats are fine in moderation, but when she has access to such a huge pile of candy, it seems to whittle its way into her conscious so that all she can think about is when Mommy is going to let her have another taste of chocolaty goodness.

When I really start to think about her eating habits though, I realize that I don’t give her enough credit. Sure, she’s excited about her loot. However, one thing I’ve noticed about both my kids is that they do seem to practice mindful eating for right now and it’s my job not to mess that up. Just this weekend we were enjoying homemade peanut butter cupcakes we made for my mom and while the adults stuffed the big things down their throats, Madeline stopped when she was full. “I can’t eat anymore, Mommy,” she told me, pushing a large chunk of her cupcake away from her. “Can you save it?”

“Of course,” I replied.

So we put her leftovers in a plastic baggie and she’s forgotten about them for now. I hope she’ll always be like this. I really have to work on not making food an issue between us. I’ll sometimes hear myself telling her that she can’t have a snack when she says she’s hungry because it’s almost dinnertime (I can bet most moms have been guilty of this same thing at some point). Then when it’s dinner, I tell her she needs to eat. What I’m doing is teaching her to not listen to her body. I’m telling her to eat by the clock instead of eating when she’s truly hungry. If she wants a snack 15 minutes before dinner, I should offer her something healthy (which on a good day, I do). If she asks for a cookie, I don’t always have to say no. If she’s not hungry at dinner, that’s okay. She won’t starve.

As for my toddler, she starts chucking her food off the highchair when she’s finished, and I know not to ply her with more carrot slivers or cheese cubes. She’s finished and she knows it. Sometimes she eats a bigger serving than I do; other times she chews five raisins, spits one out, and calls it a meal. Again, that’s okay. Just like her big sister, she’s not going to starve and she won’t stuff herself until she feels sick. That’s what adults do because we’ve stopped listening to our bodies. We don’t know how to eat anymore. Food too often either triggers either guilt or a sense of longing. We’re either depriving ourselves or eating like it’s the last meal we’re ever going to have.

So how do we teach our kids to have a healthy relationship with food and their bodies?

In my own experience as a parental unit to two girls, teaching kids nutritious eating habits is a lot like so many other aspects of parenting. We can’t force our children to sleep, for example (I know this all too well having one insomniac under our roof), but we do have the responsibility to create the conditions for sleep, including a safe and comfortable sleeping environment and a soothing bedtime routine. As far as food goes, I don’t want to be a controlling mommy who’s always saying “no, no, no” and dividing food into good or bad categories. But I don’t want to be the mom who lets her kids eat Twinkies every day for an afternoon snack and makes excuses for my children when their BMIs are no longer within a healthy range (“Oh, she’s just really big boned.”). I have to walk a thin line (pun intended, I suppose) to teaching my kids to respect their bodies and to love them for their own unique shape and for encouraging them to make the most of what God gave them. We’re not all fashioned to be wispy thin, but we shouldn’t be so afraid of ruining our kids’ healthy body image that we constantly allow them to nosh on junk food, afraid that if we tell them to put the Oreos away they’ll have a complex for life. Really, we shouldn’t even be buying the Oreos – at least not on a regular basis. I aim to keep our pantry stocked with healthy eats, so they can pretty much choose anything they want and it will be an acceptable snack.

So, yes, I may end up taking some Halloween candy from my babies (and giving it to my husband who has a mutant metabolism and never gains a pound no matter what he eats), but not before I let them take pleasure in a few prized selections of their loot (Madeline is like her mommy and seems to favor Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups).

Here are some other creative ways to make sure your kids don’t gorge on their Halloween candy:
• My aunt freezes some of the candy that would make good embellishments for the gingerbread houses she makes every Christmas with her kids.
• I give my preschooler the option of using her candy to “buy” a toy. In other words, she can trade in some of her loot for a small trinket (maybe a book or a puzzle). Last year she wasn’t as in to candy and quickly decided on “buying” a toy. This year, she’s considering her options.
• Along this train of thought, I’ve heard of some families who have a good witch come and take some of the candy and leave a toy in its place.
• Last year we took most of the chocolate candy and mashed it up. We then added the pieces to a basic chip cookie recipe. We shared the cookies with friends – they were delicious. Every cookie was a surprise since some would have a Butterfinger crunch and others would be chewy with caramel or peanut butter.
• Since Halloween, I’ve been allowing Madeline to choose one piece of candy to eat every day. She can eat it whenever she wants, but once she’s had her daily allotment, that’s it.

What about you? How do you keep your kids from turning into real “sugar babies” after Halloween or any holiday where junk food is in easy access?

The Clean Plate Club

Are you a member?

When I was a kid, I was encouraged to "clean my plate." I don't think my parents specifically mentioned starving children in foreign lands, but that vibe was definitely there. My parents lived through the Depression, after all. My father told stories about hunting squirrels and eating them, brains and all. My mom had two siblings and four step brothers and sisters, so I know picky eating was not tolerated in their home.

So my brother and I cleaned our plates, which thankfully did not include the organs of any type of rodent. We did not, however, have a problem with overeating and were of normal weight. My mom prepared three traditional, homemade "squares" a day. We ate few processed foods. For dinner we always drank tall glasses of whole milk. I still remember some of my favorite meals: malt-o-meal for breakfast, spam sandwiches for lunch, and "cowboy" dumplings with fried chicken for dinner. Mom made a great casserole featuring hamburger, rice, tomato sauce, celery, and American cheese slices. For a special treat I helped her make salads that looked like rabbits. The body was a canned pear half, with raisins for eyes and a cottage cheese tail. For birthdays she made wonderfully decorated homemade cakes and a fabulous punch featuring a variety of juices and frozen strawberries.

We ate it all. Then we went out to play.

I often think that if I ate that way now, I'd be terribly fat. My mom doesn't cook that way anymore, either. She actually relies on a lot of frozen dinners and processed meals. (Shame on you, Mom!) Truthfully, it is hard for her to cook these days and I can't blame her for going with convenience. But it would be cool to have those dumplings again...

Anyway, around our house we don't push cleaning the plate. A recent family dinner at the home of a relative made me realize how differently we manage food around here. My nine-year-old son ate two thirds of the large hamburger he wsa served, and proceeded to the kitchen to throw out the leftovers. This is what he would do at our house, without question. It didn't go over well.

"What are you doing?" his aunt asked. "You better eat that!"

"Don't you throw that out!" said another aunt.

"Remember what we heard when we were kids: 'in your mouth or up your nose!'"

Hardly advice for healthy eating habits.

The truth is, if I don't clean my plate, it will not affect the food supply in thrid world countries. If it goes in my mouth or in the garbage can, it is gone either way.

We Christians seem to have a particularly hard time with this. We think we are wasting food and money, misusing the gifts God has given us. In reality, when we eat more food than we need simply because it is in front of us, we are denying God's ability to give us what we need when we need it. I better eat all of this right now, we think. There may not be more for me. Better get it now! Stuff it in!
It's as if we don't trust God to provide for us.

Next time you are tempted to clean your plate, even when you're not hungry, try this. Picture whatever is left on your plate in HUGE quanities. Imagine an entire room filled with this food. Realize that there is indeed a whole world of food (and everything else you need) out there. Then trust that God will provide you with the nourishment you need, just when you need it.

Then guiltlessly put those leftovers in the trash, and teach your children to do the same.

Slim Goodbody

It's never too early to start teaching children about their health. Just today my 3-year-old and I had a conversation about why man cannot live on ice cream alone.

Unfortunately, sometimes the wisdom Mom imparts isn't nearly as interesting as what some cool dude named Slim Goodbody has to say about everything from healthy eating to how our circulatory system works.

From his website:

In 1975, John Burstein created the Slim Goodbody character to help him teach healthy living at the Floating Hospital in New York. Five years later, the character exploded on PBS with his first television series, The Inside Story. Today, Slim Goodbody hosts the amazing National Bodyology Tour and now dozens of new characters enhance the full K-8 school curriculum.

Slim Goodbody has entertained children with his unique, exciting and enlightening shows for 30 years. Currently his programs air on over 120 public TV stations nationwide and he has authored more than a dozen children's books. Donning his signature outfit, he educates children by combining humor, music and incredible visuals into an inspiring performance.

Slim Goodbody has 111 National Bodyology Shows in 31 states. To find a venue near you, click here.